Tuesday, August 18, 2015

The Day I Stopped Giving A Sh*t

I can remember the first time I stopped giving a shit pretty clearly.  It was in 1986, I was in catholic school and about to graduate 8th grade.  My friend Stacy and I decided we would shave our hair-perfect for photos and the father-daughter dance.  My dad was not impressed. There I was front and center in our class picture with bright red tights under my white dress and my half-shaved head.  I did not give a shit.

Of course not giving a shit lead me to do some pretty stupid things, but for the most part, not giving a shit throughout my life has served me pretty well.  I moved to new towns not afraid that I knew no one, backpacked through Spain and ended up in Ibiza for the year 1999-2000 after a bad breakup, tried different careers and not giving a shit even lead me to meeting my Husband. I also started going to Burning Man and definitely didn't give a shit what close-minded a$$holes thought about it.

Since becoming a mother I find myself not giving a shit on a whole new level:

-Milestones: Unless my Dr is worried, then I do not give a shit. Remi will do things when she is good and ready.

-My everyday bun: It's my new look.  It's easy and I can dress it up with a head wrap.  (I have matching ones with Remi.  I also don't give a shit if you think that's ridiculous).

-Going out with spit-up on my shirt.  I know it's there, it will dry and I cannot be bothered to change-again.

-Having a glass of wine or a beer during the day.  Some days just call for it.

I asked a couple of friends what are some of the things they don't give a shit about since becoming  moms:

-Unsolicited advise: Ahhh yes, we really don't give a shit to hear this from you.  We'll ask if we need it.

-Joining cliquey mommy clubs where the moms continually compare their baby to your baby.

-Expanding social circles-being with family is what counts now.

-Letting the dog lick the baby!  I love this.  I too don't give a shit if my dogs lick Remi.  I just clean her hands if they really got them slobbery.

-Sanitizing pacifiers: just rinse in water, that'll do!

-Getting dressed up.  I love this!  My friend explains that while she takes the time to make sure her babe is dressed really cute, she herself goes out in yoga pants. She also goes out with spit-up on her shirt too.

And lastely...Showering.  This made me laugh.  Yes I don't give a shit to shower everyday either.

~Mrs. G

Here's me and my friend Stacey not giving a shit in Venice Beach in 1986.

Monday, August 3, 2015

My First Time Mommy Confessions.

I cannot believe it's been five months already!  She has changed so much, we have all changed so much.  Our little family is doing great and I feel like we are in a good groove.

Though I have only been a mom for a short time (although really I think I became a mom the moment I got pregnant) I have a few confessions I thought I'd share with you all.  There's only a few and I suspect this list will keep growing...

Confession #1: Remi was super fussy and crying for what seemed like hours.  Kyle said "I'll take her for a while, please just heat up a bottle."  I went downstairs to the kitchen, opened the fridge and grabbed the bottle.  I saw an opened bottle of chardonnay and took a swig. Straight from the bottle. It was 3:00 am.

Confession #2: I don't know too many nursery rhymes, Kyle always laughs because the one I know (sorta) has a line that I made up and goes something like this: "Hush little baby don't you cry, momma gonna buy you a five and dime??" The other day I found myself singing: "Fish heads fish heads, roly poly fish heads. Fish heads, fish heads eat them up yum".  I used to listen to the Dr. Demento show in the 80's and he played this religiously.  
Confession #2A: (Update)-I sing "You Are My Sunshine" to her as part of our nightly routine and because I think I am the best singer ever, I think my version would win me a Grammy.  I often wonder if she is impressed by my vocals. 

Confession #3: When Remi spit up, which was a lot, I let Maggie lick it up.  When she burbs, Maggie now comes running or just follows us around the house waiting for her snacks.  Gross I know, but I look at it as once less thing I need to clean up.

Confession #4: My "mommy voice" is supppppppppper dorky.  But as long as it makes her laugh I don't care.

Confession #5: I actually like washing bottles.  We use the Dr. Brown's bottles and I find it calming to wash and arrange all of the parts.

Confession #6: I'd be lying if I said that maybe once or twice I passed gas and blamed it on the baby.

Confession #7: I still check the monitor during the night to see if she is breathing, especially when she sleeps for 9+ hours.

Confession #8: I feel like I have won some sort of "F*ck Yeah, She Slept Through The Night" award when the above happens.

Confession #9: I drink way more than I used too.  

~Mrs. G